HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK 1. Open a new file in your computer. 2. Name it ‘Barrack Obama’. 3. Send it to the Recycle Bin. 4. Empty the Recycle Bin. 5. Your PC will ask you: ‘Do you really want to get rid of ‘Barrack Obama?’ 6. Firmly Click ‘Yes.’ 7. […]
George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spot a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished, the devil […]
Obama dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates. He is very excited; all his life he’s had a secret wish & longed to meet the Prophet Mohammad. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack meets a man with a beard. ‘Are you Mohammad?’ he asks. ‘No, my son, I am Peter. Mohammad is […]
We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it that read: “Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8”. My husband’s Bible was lying on the dash board, so he opened it to the scripture and read it. He started laughing and laughing. Psalm 109:8 (English […]
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, ”and I’ve […]
Warning: Some foul language is present in the file below.
The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it. The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: 1. […]
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of […]