Ralph and the IRS

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.  The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS […]

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Shopping With a Drunk

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected a: Half-gallon of 2% milk Carton of eggs Quart of orange juice Head of romaine lettuce Two pound can of coffee One pound package of bacon As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched […]

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The Republican Boater

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The man consulted his […]

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Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked they come across a sign: ‘Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.’ ‘I am entering,’ said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, ‘Well, how’d ya do?’ ‘First Place’, […]

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