It Snowed, So I Made A Snowman

8:10 – A Feminist passed by and asked my why I didn’t not make a snow woman 8:15 – So, I made a snow woman, too. 8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere. 8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit […]

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CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide

(SATIRE)  According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide. “We’ve never seen a single risk factor cause a spike of this magnitude,” a CDC spokesperson told reporters. “Interestingly, in […]

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Frustrated Subway Marketers Scrap $150 Million Jeffrey Epstein Ad Campaign

Bemoaning the tremendous loss of time and resources, frustrated executives at the Subway restaurant chain have scrapped a $150 million advertising campaign featuring Jeffrey Epstein, company officials confirmed Tuesday. “Dammit, we were just gearing up to launch Jeffrey Epstein as the new face of Subway, and now all that work has gone down the toilet,” […]

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