Stamp Malfunction

The Postal  Services created a stamp with a picture of  President Obama on it. The Postal Service noticed  that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This  enraged the President, who demanded a full  investigation. After a month of testing and $1.73  million in congressional spending, a special  Presidential commission presented the following  findings: 1. […]

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Al Qaeda Newsflash

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of […]

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Wedding Bells

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day “little” sister called and asked me […]

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Drinking With a Redneck Girl

A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, “In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the Same one twice”. The […]

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The Man and the Fancy New Watch

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, “Wow, that’s a really fancy watch.” Thanks, says the guy, “It’s the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and […]

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