Dear Abby, My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says ‘pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest’, but […]
Mount Rushmore after Obama, They Can’t Stand To Look Any More…
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup? The Englishman – throws the cup and walks away. The American – takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee. The Chinese – eats the fly and throws away the coffee. The Japanese – drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was an extra […]
At Memorial Day speech: “We are here to remember our fallen soldiers, many of whom I see here tonight” He can see the dead! When teleprompter fails: “uh, uh, uh…..” On tonight show: “I bowl like I’m in the Special Olympics” On campaign trail: “I’ve been to 57 states, I think I have 1 more […]
The Treasure of Sierra Madre The Wizard of Oz Gone With The Wind Bonnie & Clyde The Godfather The Wizard […]
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello.” WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: “I’m at […]
In a potentially controversial move, the Pentagon will announce the formation of a new all-gay, all male brigade named the “Fighting 69th Sodomites.” Sources credit the creation of the 69th to House member Barney Frank, who has reportedly been working “very, very closely” with gay Pentagon officials. THEIR MOTTO IS: NEVER LEAVE YOUR BUDDY’S BEHIND!