Captain Schettino Jokes

—Captain Schettino was trying to impress a blonde named Domnica with drinks when disaster struck. When Schettino asked how she preferred her drink she replied, “On the rocks.“ —-From the passenger cruise ship the Costa Concordia, everyone can see a long bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. […]

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Politics in Cartoons

Salary of retired US Presidents ………….$180,000 FOR LIFE Salary of House/Senate …………………..$174,000 FOR LIFE This is stupid Salary of Speaker of the House ………….$223,500 FOR LIFE This is stupid Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders ……. $193,400 FOR LIFE This is stupid Average Salary of a teacher ……………. $40,065 Average Salary of Soldier DEPLOYED IN AFGHANISTAN ©.. […]

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A little family problem here…

Last night my daughter just walked into the living room and said, “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod, and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Then sell my new car. […]

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Obama at the Bank

Barack Obama walks into the bank to cash a check. “Good morning, Ma’am,” he greets the cashier, “could you please cash this check for me?” “It would be my pleasure, sir. Could you please show me your ID?” “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need […]

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Muslim Jokes

Q: A car full of Pakistanis and a car full of Somalis are racing down a hill. They both fall off a cliff at the same time, who wins? A: Civilization. Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time? A: Hit an Ethiopian Muslim in the face with a frying pan. Q: What […]

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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual […]

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