Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM Singing of “#$$%^% Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM Ceremonial ‘I hate America’ led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing “Great Balls of Fire”
4:49 PM Fund Raising John Edwards
5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States

5:50 PM How I Invented The Internet and Global Warming – A. Gore

8:30 PM Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:05 PM Real Estate Tips – Barney Frank
9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
9:45 PM Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangle
10:00 PM Denunciation of THE N.R.A. – Barbara Boxer
10:15 PM Fund Raising Tips – G. Clooney
10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
11:15 PM Free Gov. Blagowitcz rally
11:20 PM How I Killed Bin Laden – B. Hussein Obama
11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish, Obama Presiding
12:00 AM Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher…
12:01 AM Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech in Spanish & Arabic

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