Things that I trust more than HILLARY CLINTON:
* Tijuana tap water
* A rattlesnake with a “pet me” sign
* OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection
* A fart when I have diarrhea
* Bill Clinton with my daughter.
* A Boko Haram Welfare Agency
* Arnold with your maid
* An elevator ride with Ray Rice
* Iraqi Infantry tactics
* Ted Bundy at my daughter’s prom
* Taking pills offered by Bill Cosby
* Megyn Kelly as my moderator
* Linda Tripp with a secret
* Elton John after I drop my soap
* Jacko at my kids pajama party
* Teddy Kennedy driving me over a bridge
* Jerry Sandusky in a Little League shower
* Michael Jackson’s Doctor
* An Obama Nuclear deal with Iran
* A Columbian on a motorcycle
* Pete Rose baseball stats
* Charle Sheen with my Coke line
* Vince Foster’s autopsy report
* Walter Palmer with my cat
*Tawana Brawley on the stand
* Mel Gibson at my kids Bar Mitzvah
* An Aztec cardiac specialist
* Liberian fruit bat BBQ
* Nancy Pelosi’s MENSA score
* A Nigerian with my Debit Card number
* Chinese condoms
* Chris Dodd’s mortgage application
* Timothy Treadwell as my Bear watching guide.
* An Arab with a backpack
* A Somali mail order body building course
* An Afghan with my goat
* Kim Jong Un with my pie.
* Sgnt Bergdahl on watch
* Firestone tires on a Ford Pinto
* Charlie Rangel’s tax return
* JFK Junior as my night pilot to M Vineyard
* A ham sandwich off Jeffrey Dahmer
* Barney Frank dropping twenty dollar bills
* Monica Lewinsky’s dress cleaner
* Georgia UFO witness’s with front teeth
* Jesse Jackson on a shakedown
* Gas station Sushi
* A Jimmy Carter economic plan
* Angela Merkel with German culture’s future
* A Volkswagen smog certificate
* A Boston Chechen with a box of pressure cookers
* Brian Williams news reports
* Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton
*Tiger Woods saying “you’re the only one baby
